After watching the fifth episode of the Real Housewives of Vancouver, one thing is exceedingly clear: Ronnie has a drinking problem and not a cute, ironic one fit for a socialite, either.
Ronnie is one of those obnoxious, high-maintenance drunks who are particularly unpleasant to be around. These are the pit-bull alcoholics who turn cruel and aggressive, seemingly without provocation – but of course it is the alcohol itself that’s the provocation.
On top of that, Ronnie does not appear to have many redeeming qualities to begin with. So give her some alcohol with its power to remove inhibition and any shred of decency that might mask her true vile nature is obliterated.
I’ll tell you another thing, that goofy woman, Jody, with her tiaras, furs, ratty looking hair extensions, enormous bug-eyed sunglasses, and Teletubby dance moves, who incidentally wears Prada bedroom slippers out to lunch (what kind of pretentious weirdness was THAT??) is not helping matters as far as Ronnie’s alcoholism is concerned.
Basically, Jody is your classic idiot enabler.
And this idiot enabler – tweedle dumb – gets together with Ronnie – tweedle drunk – for oysters and wine at the beginning of episode five, Mending Fences and Burning Bridges.
As they take their seats, Jody is shown saying that she loves Ronnie and that they’ve become really close. Meanwhile, later in the program Christina more or less scoffs at the twosome’s supposed “closeness” and tells us that the only thing Jody and Ronnie have in common, other than their winning personalities, is they each have three children, all fathered by three different men.
Carrying on...once the two women are seated, we are treated to Ronnie slandering sweet Mary as Jody intently listens, nodding her head with a look of feigned disdain and worry. None of us viewers are buying it.
Then, upon hearing Ronnie lie about Mary being the first one to show other people their nasty text message exchange (and we just have to play back last week’s episode – HELLO – to know Ronnie is full of it and that she was the one to show off the texts first), Jody offers up the trite and always unhelpful explanation: “Maybe there’s jealously; maybe that turns into animosity (maybe Jody's a buffoon) - I have no patience for it!”
Give me a break.
Give me a break.
But there would be no breaks because of the cringe-inducing thing Ronnie said next, which by the way sounded not only embarrassing, but totally rehearsed: “I can be your very, very best friend and I will go to the ends of the Earth for the people I love. But Mary should not mistake my kindness for weakness and from here on out I’m watching… I AM WATCHING.”
Ronnie is not only a drunk who causes mental anguish, but she is delusional as well. At one point she even minimizes her alcohol abuse with a shrug of her shoulders saying, “Hey, I like to throw a few back like anybody else - and I do - and I'm not going to feel bad about it".
Christina, while I do not think is delusional – at least I don’t think so thus far – is however beginning to look a bit flaky in episode five, what with her eyelash extensions and all. Plus, it is hard to understand why she keeps doing what Jody tells her to do.
She claims to know that Jody is a bully and that you have stand up to bullies – she even took boxing and hypnotherapy to prepare herself – yet inexplicitly continues to allow Jody to pick on her and boss her around.
For example, why for the love of Botox did Christina listen to Jody’s repeated commands and get into that elevator, leaving Mary, her FRIEND and only ally, upset and alone?
It is strange the hold Jody has over these women. I mean, she is just such an absurdity. They should be laughing at her, not heeding her advice for crying out loud. She’s a clown and although she can be a disturbing clown, she does at times make us snicker, as when she said of Ronnie’s invitation to tennis and lunch: “Ronnie prepared a really nice lunch…that she’s purchased.”
I still don’t know what to make of Reiko. It is hard not to like her even when she is showing off, which is surprising because it’s extremely easy to dislike the other housewives when they’re acting ostentatious. Reiko, on the other hand, comes across as somewhat of a paradox and seems to fulfill the otherwise unrealistic and antiquated feminist notion that women can “have it all”.
Finally, I have new respect for Mary. I thought she handled herself beautifully at the hotel room with the inebriated and offensive Ronnie, as well as with the other women. From a viewer perspective, it was the others who were “crazy”, NOT Mary.
Looking forward to episode six…