I don’t know if Amanda and her sister, a.k.a. “The Ass Lady”, are full-blooded siblings but they could be twins, the physical resemblance is so uncanny.
|Nearly identical sisters, Amanda and Denise, chowing down on some baked goods while sharing a laugh about genital rejuvenation procedures. Classy.|
They also share similar interests as illustrated by their fascinating and cerebral conversation about butt lifts, “junk lifts”, “foo-foo tightening” and geriatric “screwing”.
|Amanda yearns to be as "tight" as a "prom queen" & not as loose as a porn princess. Her sister is uncertain that this is possible at this stage in Amanda's life....hey now, don't shoot the messenger - this is their vulgarity, not Lala's.|
Moving on to Amanda’s career suitability – I know how important “authenticity” is to her. She should therefore stop being such a hypocrite by trying to be something she’s not and embrace her true calling: I hear online porn and escort services are REALLY lucrative and Amanda, a self-proclaimed “sex addict”, CLEARLY has a predisposition for this line of work:
|Creepy butt lifter, Domenic, was pretty smitten with Amanda's body parts and would probably vouch for her if she decided to answer her calling.|
Ugh, Amanda isn’t even worth the time.
|Propelled by Domenic, who says "we really need to party tonight", Amanda muses, "Tonight, I think I've got a hot butt". She is pleased by this.|
|Domenic to Amanda: “I gotta be honest, I looked at your butt and I couldn’t see anything that needed to be healed". Ugh. Women who fall for that crap are as repulsive as the men who deliver that crap.|
Ronnie is such a tragic figure it’s not even fun blogging about her any more. She just becomes so emotionally distraught over her role on a reality TV series and how her character is negatively perceived that it might not be a good idea, for the sake of her mental state, to continue on the show.
|Ronnie regarding the feuding & bullying that surrounds RHOV both on and off screen: “I'm stressed out. I can’t take it. I’m having an anxiety attack".|
By all accounts, she can’t handle the attention to the point where she is lashing out at RHOV fans in "real life", threatening to use her money and power to hunt them down at their homes and places of work. This is not a well human being. Is it even ethical to have her on the show if she is this psychologically unstable?
And if we are to accept that she is of sound mind, sweet fancy Moses, what did she expect when she agreed to put herself and her flaws out there for all to see? Did she think nobody would notice her shortcomings and “evil” (her word, not mine) behavior because they’d be so mesmerized by her beauty? This reality show should be a reality check for her, especially.
She reminds me of other out-of-touch people who feel perfectly justified in saying whatever insulting thing pops into their heads. They truly believe their faulty opinions are correct and that they are doing others a favor by informing them of these opinions.
This kind of unfiltered, non-self-reflective, overbearing personality often gets away with their unfair treatment of others because most people are so taken aback by the unprovoked onslaught that they don’t have enough time to react with anything other than stunned acquiescence.
You don’t realize you’ve been stung until the moment has passed and the person who’s done the “stinging” is smugly walking away, oblivious to your pain.
However, occasionally people like Ronnie DO get stung in return by either a like-minded personality, or else a quick-witted one. And the Ronnies of the world are ALWAYS surprised, shocked, dumbfounded…HURT – hugely hurt – by this reciprocation.
They cannot BELIEVE the audacity of someone to treat them in the exact same way they treat others because they simply don’t see anything wrong with their own actions and beliefs, even when those actions and beliefs are mirrored back to them and they don’t like what they see. And when they don’t like what they see, they don’t recognize themselves.
In other words, they are blind to what is staring them right in their face, like an anorexic – also known as Amanda’s ideal woman – who looks at her skeletal reflection and all she sees is fat. It’s a disconnect of the mind.
Nevertheless, it’s possible Ronnie maybe could be “fixed” if she did some sort of Eat, Pray, Love journey thing (even though I was not a fan of that particular book which was yet another Oprah pick I couldn’t bring myself to finish it was so corny, contrived, predictable, narcissistic and not relatable AT ALL. Elizabeth Gilbert had a pretty nice life going for herself, and I couldn’t grasp what was so bad that she was forced into a fetal position onto her immaculately clean, expensively tiled bathroom floor…but I digress.. ).
On a more flattering note, for all my psycho-babbling about Ronnie, I do enjoy some of her snarky commentary when she’s not obsessing over Mary Zilba. Her assessment of the smarmy, somewhat sleazy, munchkin-looking, purple-shirted Domenic, his stripper-esque assistants and poorly plasticized wife made me laugh…demonically. It was a demonic laugh.
What about Jody, though? Could SHE be “fixed” if she went on a journey of self-discovery? Lala thinks not. When you live in a funhouse maze, any journey you take is going to lead you to dead ends and grossly distorted perceptions. It might actually push you over the edge into complete madness.
Jody may not be completely mad as yet, but she’s close to being certifiable. She is just so over-the-top delusional that how can anyone give credence to anything she says or does? When she was on Top Chef Canada she reminded me of a frigg’in Lalaloopsy doll:
Jody Claman on getting all lalaloopsied up for Top Chef Canada : "I love hair and makeup. It’s a lot of work. I’m a snow report. One inch base, 7 inches powder. Hello Whistler!” She then cackles. Hmm…that's kind of a weird thing to say...
Or a character from the Wizard of Oz:
|Mary suggests to Jody that she take note of her "drunken daughter" Mia who is at risk of falling in the pool and drowning. Jody's nonsensical, witch-like reply? "You're going to have any aneurysm and die if you don't stop your bullshit". Huh?|
Really, Mary shouldn’t pay Jody any more heed than she would a Lalaloopsy or a fictional flying monkey. There is no point in getting worked up over eccentric nuts who look like rag dolls and hang out with not fully evolved primates – they know not what they do. They’re too crazy.
|Another uncanny resemblance: Mary could be Dorothy and Jody, who hails from West Vancouver, could be the Wicked Witch of the... West...again, don't shoot the messenger.|
Speaking of delusional people, what about Robin? I like Robin, but it annoys me how she plays both sides of the fence. She appears inherently incapable of picking a “side” reminiscent of Reiko from the first season and again, even though I’m getting sick of using this word and will have to find a new one, comes across as mildly hypocritical or at least two-faced.
|Robin: "I never said I didn’t like Ioulia – I do. I just wish she would recognize her…selfishness". Huh? WHAT is she babbling on about?|
First, she says Mary’s friendship is a “blessing” (and this “inauthentic” religiosity or hokey spirituality of Robin’s also irritates me, but that’s just me). Then later she conspires against Mary with Amanda, the enemy! What treachery! If Robin doesn’t stop it, she’s going to graduate from bystander to bully herself.
Finally, I’ll end with Ioulia. Could we love her any more? What is it about her that is so likeable besides her aesthetics? (and Ronnie is gorgeous too so it’s not just looks).
I think for me it’s how Ioulia seems so unaffected by all the nonsense, while at the same time doesn’t come across so utterly self-centered that the reason she’s unaffected is merely because she doesn’t give a shit about anyone else but herself. She can differentiate between what is silliness and not worth getting upset about, and what is genuine hurt and injustice.
Ioulia talking about Mary Zilba:” I’m completely proud of her, she deserves a frick’in award for being brave and stepping out in the spotlight, so good for her”.
I also admire how she sticks up for Mary not because Ioulia is narrow-mindedly taking a side for ulterior motives, but because she isn’t an idiot and can see what is what. This is what makes me think that besides Mary, Ioulia is the wisest one out of the bunch. Plus, how can I not like someone who goes after Amanda with such gusto? Seriously now.
Ioulia, a heroine and an angel, says to Amanda: “No more little jokes about I’m flying coach or whatever – your little comments are not going to be taken as jokes anymore. I don’t give a shit about you – who the fuck are YOU?!” Excellent work Ioulia!
Why, by the way, is Robin all the sudden saying these disparaging things about Ioulia being “rude” and “abrasive”? I don’t understand. Is it because she didn’t like Ioulia’s constructive criticism during their singing rehearsal? Robin does not seem able to gage a person’s true intentions, she really doesn’t, God bless her. Poor thing. This just strengthens my view that Robin is not the most sparkly rhinestone in Jody's tiara.
Mia is a sparkly rhinestone, but not in any positive sense, she's so fake and ridiculous. She furthermore does not deserve much of a mention this time around or really ever, though she’s worthy of an afterthought, which is this: Josh referred to her, his half-sister, as “the dirty one” – HAHA!!
|Jody's drunken daughter.|
|Mia, a caricature of her mother.|
I think that’s all I have to say about this episode of the Real Housewives of Vancouver, but if you are interested in a more in-depth, blow-by-blow recap with a few amusing, acerbic remarks thrown in for good measure, Jesse Ferreras does a pretty good job: Real Housewives Of Vancouver Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Mary's Revenge
Until next week then my friends…may your balaclavas be warm and not too restricting, may your breasts remain firmly taped in place, your butt lifted but no so high that it envelopes your brain, and may your junk, if you have any, not sag so low that even Amanda would pass up an oral invitation.
Tata, for now.