Saturday, November 29, 2014

The Falling Alpha Male

According to evolutionary theory, man shares a common ancestor with chimpanzees, diverging into separate lineages some millions of years ago. Unfortunately, and I am sorry to have to report this, but not all the men made the divergent cut. Ape men still live among us, some cleverly disguised as real men.

Worse yet is that these ape men have infiltrated every rung of the social hierarchy and not just the lower ghetto levels where you would rightly expect to see them. They are down there of course, terrorizing, molesting and raping women and children, stealing from them, exploiting them, psychologically abusing them, beating the shit out of them on a regular basis and generally acting like their physically aggressive brothers in the wild, the alpha male chimpanzee. So that is bad enough, but at least they are relatively easy to spot when that careful but cunning shark, Justice, decides to do something about them.

Most alarming, however, but only because he isn’t as easy to discern as his lower status brethren, is the predatory alpha chimp roaming the upper echelons of society. These are sly assholes, disguised as paunchy peacocks in glittery cloaks of power, credentials, misappropriated intelligence, wealth, fame and charisma – disguises that work to divert everyone’s attention from their clandestine, sleazy motives and crimes.

They strut around fooling people, dazzling them with their shiny objects, bloated conceit and self-important blethering as they spout off in personal sound-bites, engage in shameless self-branding and otherwise make bombastic statements about their own worth and abilities as pretend human beings. But make no mistake, they aren’t humans. They are greasy blobs of greed and disgusting self-gratification to an excess far beyond the reach of the average person. Those they do not fool – who see them for the repugnant filth they are – the chimps are quite good at silencing one way or another, at least historically.

And while these narcissistic ape men may not have evolved along with the good real men they masquerade as, their top-heavy egos CERTAINLY have grown beyond the confines of their skull, which as karma would have it is often their ultimate downfall.

The main problem with these morbidly obese egos is that they give the egomaniac the illusion that he is an invincible god and that his desires and actions are above reproach, as well as the conventions and laws of civilized society. When that sense of entitlement is paired with the urges of your typical smooth-talking, phallic-centered ape-man, particularly a seemingly ingenious one in a control position, no female is safe.

This then should be of concern to everyone because when the girls aren’t safe, society as a whole isn’t safe. The ape men must be stopped and put in the cages where they belong. To stop them, though, you have to have an eye for the signs of their presence, a nose for their stench and an ear for their sound, paying particular attention to the chatter that invariably swirls around them, especially chatter the chimp handlers are quick to discredit, often with the inane “slut or nut” defense --- or the always popular "I didn't know" defense.





Or perhaps the chimp himself, a chimp such as Jian Ghomeshi, with a delusional belief in his right to do whatever the hell he pleases to whomever he pleases, will take matters into his own hands with an absurdly grandiose and rambling Facebook post that has the audacity to compare the drivel that is Fifty Shades of Grey with the literary brilliance that is anything Lynn Coady writes. How dare he. He should be "hate-fucked" by Satan's minions forever and ever for that cross-reference alone.

I digress.

You see the same engorged ego in the crack-smoking mayor, Rob Ford, who thinks his “unique” apology is somehow a superpower that magically erases criminal or morally reprehensible behavior with a simple “sorry”, the senator who makes false expense claims, apparently believing the taxpayer is his personal piggy bank, and the world-famous actor who drugs and rapes a series of women over the course of many years and gets away with it even though everyone knows perfectly well he’s doing it.

You also see it in the police officer who sexually harasses a female officer and “kids” with his buddies about "stringing her up on a meat hook and gutting her like a pig". You moreover see it in the successful comedian who generates big laughs with rape jokes, the minister of pretty much anything, whether church or government, who uses his position to sexually impose himself on his tyrannized “inferiors”, and the physician who likewise uses his position to sexually attack and coerce female patients. 

You see it in the Dalhousie dentistry students who saw nothing wrong with starting a Facebook page that openly glorified the disgusting fantasies of nerdy, dim-witted, would-be-dentists who longed to drug and rape their female classmates. These men should not have been merely "suspended". They should be publicly branded with a scarlet P for "Predators", so that when mothers are looking for dentists for their daughters they know who to avoid, but again I digress.

You furthermore see a grotesquely swollen ego in the corrupt venture capitalist, with a string of dewy young minnows on the fishing line, who made his billions with dirty oil and shady deals, and boasts it all came from hard work, implying the rest of humanity doesn’t work hard. Don’t ask HIM for a charitable “handout”. Sweat harder! The downtrodden masses deserve everything they suffer, as far as he and his male privilege are concerned.




But don’t worry. Nothing lasts forever, even though it often feels that way when injustice and barbarism seem to be the predominant flavour of the ages. Even so, with patience, one day the chimp will be taken off guard and instead of a pretty little minnow at the end of his line, he will inadvertently snag a large predatory female with a cause and a fin and get her attention. And she, the shrewd, carnivorous beauty that she is, will sense the potentially gratifying taste of chimp blood, and with a slash of her teeth reveal his true hideous form as she rips the smug right off his dumb face.

In the meantime, the ape-men are toppling over all on their own, one by one, under the extreme weight of their mutated egos and getting tangled up in nets they themselves unwittingly set.  It is truly a spectacular Darwin Award style extravaganza to behold. They are losing their jobs, their health, their money, their people, their status, their allure, and their freedom.

Some are even being returned to their mothers.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.