Saturday, May 16, 2015

Dumb Politicians and Female Bodies

I thought I was listening to CBC’s Rewind when I got in my car, turned on the radio and heard this retro-trope:

"They can't get on any more skin tight, it looks like sausage casings. Their belly button is pushing through the material and I kinda look at that and I go, 'I get it, you're pregnant, all right.' Now why, why, why such a desire to push that out in front of everyone?"

It wasn’t until later in the day that I came to understand the above was not some archival soundbite drudged up from patriarchal antiquity. It was one David Chesney, White Rock council member, currently expressing the opinion of not only his fine pasty self, but that of others who have made their revulsion of the pregnant form known via email and social media regarding a meteorologist named Kristi Gordon, who had the audacity to get herself pregnant and not go into hiding.

In reality, the only thing that should go into hiding is not the visual evidence of human reproduction, but the ignorant opinions of old, doughy-brained politicians and like-minded individuals regarding the various states of the female body, opinions such as this:

"The fact is that the styling was much different through the '50s, '60s, '70s — even in the '80s women wore a little bit more loose-fitting clothes. But as I say, nowadays, how they can yank on those Lululemon sweatpants and body dance skins, and go out in public at eight months pregnant ... I don't find it repulsive (obviously he’s lying) I just really have to question, why that?"

“It’s a touchy point, but that’s just my opinion and by golly I’m entitled to it”.

With the world’s population projected to reach 10 billion by 2050 at a rate of something like two babies born every second, witnessing a reasonably dressed pregnant woman out in public or on TV should be one of the least shocking, most natural sights any citizen on the planet comes across.

If you’re going to question “why that?” then, you might as well jump into the existential rabbit hole and question why the human race exists to begin with? Why does it persist? Why is there something instead of nothing? And the most perplexing question of all: Why all the cognitive dissonance when it comes to the female human? It’s this weird mix of fear, hatred, lust, obsession, revulsion and worship. When will it stop because it is getting really, really boring. We’re here, you’re here. Deal with it. Master your testosterone.

Master your testosterone, ESPECIALLY if you have a problem with pregnant women. It seems counterintuitive and dumb otherwise.

And while you’re at it, show some respect for your mothers, mothers-to-be and potential mothers (in other words, WOMEN), for god’s sake.

The David Chesneys of the world with their “by golly” entitlement would not be here at all, sharing oxygen and pompously spouting their confused, outdated opinions if not for a mother, who through much mental anguish, physical discomfort and pain, first prepared the way for them.

Don’t stand on the backs, hard work, sacrifice and suffering of those who came before you, who made your quality of life – nay, your very existence – possible, and disregard, minimize or act contemptuous of what was done for you, that you could never have done on your own, and that enables you to enjoy whatever freedoms you exercise.

Honour your mothers, "repulsive" pregnancies and all.

And if you still want to question “why that?”, how about the epidemic of unnatural, pregnant-looking, large-breasted men lumbering around like Neanderthals, not in Lululemon sweatpants but in stained, saggy, grey sweatpants that although loose-fitting, STILL leave nothing to the nightmares of imagination. I have the misfortune of witnessing these sausages without casings, these abominations of nature, every day, often getting out of vehicles with bumper-stickers indicating their admiration for the yoga pant and child brides.

This double standard of objectifying the female form and then abhorring it when it doesn’t fit into the sexualized ideal, while simultaneously humoring, even celebrating an overtly disgusting version of the male form has been eating me alive since I was young enough to notice such gross injustices. It’s turned a peace-loving little girl with fairy tale visions into a pissed off feminist, not because she was born bitter, but because the world has made her this way. No one likes to have a cabbage-roll stuffed down her throat while she gags and told she likes it. Gag reflexes don’t lie, and oppression will either kill the spirit or ignite it into a raging fire of revolt.

If society in general doesn’t want to deal with outraged feminine energy, then stop with the degradation. It’s not difficult. Just don’t do it. There is nothing easier in this world than not doing something. For example, David Chesney could have easily not said this: “When you become a public figure as Kristi Gordon chose to do, you are put to a higher standard”.


I won't mention pots and kettles because a womb evidencing the miracle of life is hardly the hypocritical equivalent of a culturally irrelevant politician from White Rock with probable karmic erectile dysfunction regurgitating the same tired misogyny, but the only person in this equation displaying dismal conduct, poor judgment and stupidity is David Chesney. Kristi Gordon has conducted herself with nothing but grace and beauty. Pregnancy will do that to a girl.




She definitely deserves a professionally done belly-cast for having to deal with this bullshit when she is pregnant. David Chesney? Buck up buddy boy.

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